Here’s a strange one — a B-side song from ラストアイドル (Last Idol’s) latest single 愛を知る (ai wo shiru / I Know Love) that simultaneously glamorizes and insults its audience.

I don’t follow Last Idol that closely, mostly because I can’t find much translated content. But I suppose it’s like an on-going reality TV show focused around the release of each subsequent single. Part of the setup this time was a contest where the winners were selected to be in the senbatsu for coupling B-sides, each sponsored by a different weekly men’s magazine.

期待値0 (kitaichi 0 / Zero Expectations) is from the “PB” edition of 愛を知る, linked to Weekly Playboy (the others are “YM” for Young Magazine and “YJ” for Young Jump, plus a regular edition). And the sponsorship is clearly on display here, if maybe not painting some of their readership in the nicest light. But perhaps that’s the lyricist’s creative freedom at work.

It’s a five-member senbatsu, and though after Seishun Train I tried watching their TV show and learning some of the members, I didn’t recognize any of them here. Fortunately they each get a name card and good screen time in the MV.

Ok, maybe you can tell which members I like the most. Anyway, this song really grabbed me much more than the A-side (though I’m coming around on it), with a nice upbeat tune and downright stinging lyrics. At least the ones I could understand, as the theme between 愛を知る and 期待値0 seems to be to sing as fast as possible.

I didn’t really intend to sub this one next, but it just kinda happened. I was thinking about getting even fancier with the text treatments, but this was a nice amount of effort between all the other things I have to do at the moment, so I’ll leave it here as is. Though the striking difference between this released raw and the 1080p teaser on YouTube is quite frustrating — maybe one day they’ll deign to release it in full so I can up-res it.


ラストアイドル (Last Idol)
期待値0 (kitaichi 0 / Zero Expectations)

Translation by SaitoWinterStar



チュチュチュチュチュルル…
Chu chu chu chu chu ruru...



どこがいいのかなんて わかんない
doko ga ii no ka nante    wakan'nai
I dunno how far this should go

何で好きになったか わかんない
nande suki ni natta ka    wakan'nai
And I dunno why why I fell in love

特にイケメンじゃないし
toku ni IKEMEN janaishi
He's not particularly good looking

身長が高いわけでもないし
shinchou ga takai wake demo naishi
And he's not even that tall



サッカー部でも補欠だし
SAKKAA-bu de mo hoketsu dashi
He's an alternate in the soccer club

楽器とか弾けるわけでもないし
gakki toka hikeru wake demo naishi
And it's not like he can play any instruments

あいつって要するに
aitsu tte you suru ni
In short, the guy has

モテる要素が全然ないの
MOTEru youso ga zenzen nai no
No particular gifts at all



友達の誰もが
tomodachi no dare mo ga
All my friends ask

どうして 好きになったか
dou shite    suki ni natta ka
Why'd you start liking him?

わからないって言うけど…
wakaranai tte iu kedo...
And I say, I don't know, but...



週プレのグラビア 眺めてる
shuuPURE no GURABIA    nagamete ru
Looking through the Weekly Playboy gravure

嬉しそうな表情に嘘はない
ureshisou na hyoujou ni uso wa nai
There's no lie in his happy expression

わかりやすくて正直なその性格に
wakariyasukute shoujiki na sono seikaku ni
With a character that's honest and easy to understand

なんだか惹かれてしまったかも
nandaka hikarete shimatta ka mo
Maybe that somehow attracted me just a bit



カッコをつけてる男子より
KAKKO wo tsukete ru danshi yori
Rather than a boy with good looks

全部 さらけ出してる方がいい
zenbu    sarakedashite ru hou ga ii
It's better if it's all laid bare

恋の理想と現実にはギャップがある
koi no risou to genjitsu no wa GYAPPU ga aru
There's a gap between ideal love and reality

できれば後でがっかりしないような
dekireba ato de gakkari shinai you na
So if it's possible not to be disappointed later

期待値0
kitaichi zero
Zero expectations



チュチュチュチュチュルル…
Chu chu chu chu chu ruru...



どこでピンと来たのか わかんない
doko de PIN to kita no ka    wakan'nai
I dunno how much of this I really get

何がきっかけなのかわかんない
nani ga kikkake na no ka wakan'nai
And I dunno what triggered this

たまたま 同じクラスで
tamatama    onaji KURASU de
Despite by chance being in the same class

ただ席が近かっただけなのに…
tada seki ga chikatta dake na no ni...
And our seats just happening to be nearby...



勉強はそこそこだし
benkyou wa sokosoko dashi
You're a good enough student

気が利いた冗談も言えないし…
ki ga kiita joudan mo ienaishi...
I can't even say it was a tasteful joke...

あいつって結局は
aitsu tte kekkyoku wa
You are, after all,

最低ランクの落ちこぼれね
saitei RANKU no ochikobore ne
The worst of the dunces 



イケメンの男子に
IKEMEN no danshi ni
Though a handsome guy

告白されたけれど
kokuhaku sareta keredo
Confessed to me

でも すぐ断ってしまった
demo    sugu kotowatte shimatta
Even then, I rejected him flat out



ヤンジャンにヤンマガ 全部買って
YANJYAN ni YANMAGA    zenbu katte
You buy all the Young Magazines from Young Jump

まず最初にグラビアをチェックする
mazu saishou ni GURABIA wo CHEKKU suru
And check out the gravure at the beginning right away 

バカっぽくて単純な脳細胞が
BAKAPPOkute tanjun na nousaibou ga
Those simple nerdy brain cells

可愛く思えちゃったってことかな
kawaiku omoechatta tte koto ka na
I wonder if I thought it seemed cute



理屈ばっかりのみんなより
rikutsu bakkari no min'na yori
Unlike everyone else where it's only a theory 

いつも そのまんまって安心する
itsumo    sono manma tte anshin suru
I always feel at ease that you're just as you seem

人は見た目と中身とでは違うけれど
hito wa mitame to nakami to de wa chigau keredo
Though people are different on the inside from how they appear

一番低い入り口で好きになれば
ichiban hikui iriguchi de suki ni nareba
If you like someone even when there's nowhere to go but up

期待値0
kitaichi zero
Zero expectations



週プレのグラビア 眺めてる
shuuPURE no GURABIA    nagamete ru
Looking through the Weekly Playboy gravure

嬉しそうな表情に嘘はない
ureshisou na hyoujou ni uso wa nai
There's no lie in his happy expression

わかりやすくて正直なその性格に
wakariyasukute shoujiki na sono seikaku ni
With a character that's honest and easy to understand

なんだか惹かれてしまったかも
nandaka hikarete shimatta ka mo
Maybe that somehow attracted me just a bit



カッコをつけてる男子より
KAKKO wo tsukete ru danshi yori
Rather than a boy with good looks

全部 さらけ出してる方がいい
zenbu    sarakedashite ru hou ga ii
It's better if it's all laid bare

恋の理想と現実にはギャップがある
koi no risou to genjitsu no wa GYAPPU ga aru
There's a gap between ideal love and reality

できれば後でがっかりしないような
dekireba ato de gakkari shinai you na
So if it's possible not to be disappointed later

期待値0
kitaichi zero
Zero expectations



チュチュチュチュチュルル…
Chu chu chu chu chu ruru...



期待値0
kitaichi zero
Zero expectations



チュチュチュチュチュルル…
Chu chu chu chu chu ruru...

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2 Comments

PPpupu · September 21, 2020 at 9:51 am

I love this. I don’t have much exposure to idols aside from the Sakamichi groups’ variety shows, but I’m really digging Last Idol’s songs.

Thank you for translating!

My Top Artists of 2020 – SaitoWinterStar · January 2, 2021 at 4:50 pm

[…] a mention. Last Idol didn’t hit the same 青春トレイン highs, but I loved the unit song 期待値0 as well as the music and aesthetic of their new release this year, 何人も. Finally, SKE48 […]

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