Here’s a strange one — a B-side song from ラストアイドル (Last Idol’s) latest single 愛を知る (ai wo shiru / I Know Love) that simultaneously glamorizes and insults its audience.
I don’t follow Last Idol that closely, mostly because I can’t find much translated content. But I suppose it’s like an on-going reality TV show focused around the release of each subsequent single. Part of the setup this time was a contest where the winners were selected to be in the senbatsu for coupling B-sides, each sponsored by a different weekly men’s magazine.
期待値0 (kitaichi 0 / Zero Expectations) is from the “PB” edition of 愛を知る, linked to Weekly Playboy (the others are “YM” for Young Magazine and “YJ” for Young Jump, plus a regular edition). And the sponsorship is clearly on display here, if maybe not painting some of their readership in the nicest light. But perhaps that’s the lyricist’s creative freedom at work.
It’s a five-member senbatsu, and though after Seishun Train I tried watching their TV show and learning some of the members, I didn’t recognize any of them here. Fortunately they each get a name card and good screen time in the MV.
Ok, maybe you can tell which members I like the most. Anyway, this song really grabbed me much more than the A-side (though I’m coming around on it), with a nice upbeat tune and downright stinging lyrics. At least the ones I could understand, as the theme between 愛を知る and 期待値0 seems to be to sing as fast as possible.
I didn’t really intend to sub this one next, but it just kinda happened. I was thinking about getting even fancier with the text treatments, but this was a nice amount of effort between all the other things I have to do at the moment, so I’ll leave it here as is. Though the striking difference between this released raw and the 1080p teaser on YouTube is quite frustrating — maybe one day they’ll deign to release it in full so I can up-res it.
ラストアイドル (Last Idol) 期待値0 (kitaichi 0 / Zero Expectations) Translation by SaitoWinterStar チュチュチュチュチュルル… Chu chu chu chu chu ruru... どこがいいのかなんて わかんない doko ga ii no ka nante wakan'nai I dunno how far this should go 何で好きになったか わかんない nande suki ni natta ka wakan'nai And I dunno why why I fell in love 特にイケメンじゃないし toku ni IKEMEN janaishi He's not particularly good looking 身長が高いわけでもないし shinchou ga takai wake demo naishi And he's not even that tall サッカー部でも補欠だし SAKKAA-bu de mo hoketsu dashi He's an alternate in the soccer club 楽器とか弾けるわけでもないし gakki toka hikeru wake demo naishi And it's not like he can play any instruments あいつって要するに aitsu tte you suru ni In short, the guy has モテる要素が全然ないの MOTEru youso ga zenzen nai no No particular gifts at all 友達の誰もが tomodachi no dare mo ga All my friends ask どうして 好きになったか dou shite suki ni natta ka Why'd you start liking him? わからないって言うけど… wakaranai tte iu kedo... And I say, I don't know, but... 週プレのグラビア 眺めてる shuuPURE no GURABIA nagamete ru Looking through the Weekly Playboy gravure 嬉しそうな表情に嘘はない ureshisou na hyoujou ni uso wa nai There's no lie in his happy expression わかりやすくて正直なその性格に wakariyasukute shoujiki na sono seikaku ni With a character that's honest and easy to understand なんだか惹かれてしまったかも nandaka hikarete shimatta ka mo Maybe that somehow attracted me just a bit カッコをつけてる男子より KAKKO wo tsukete ru danshi yori Rather than a boy with good looks 全部 さらけ出してる方がいい zenbu sarakedashite ru hou ga ii It's better if it's all laid bare 恋の理想と現実にはギャップがある koi no risou to genjitsu no wa GYAPPU ga aru There's a gap between ideal love and reality できれば後でがっかりしないような dekireba ato de gakkari shinai you na So if it's possible not to be disappointed later 期待値0 kitaichi zero Zero expectations チュチュチュチュチュルル… Chu chu chu chu chu ruru... どこでピンと来たのか わかんない doko de PIN to kita no ka wakan'nai I dunno how much of this I really get 何がきっかけなのかわかんない nani ga kikkake na no ka wakan'nai And I dunno what triggered this たまたま 同じクラスで tamatama onaji KURASU de Despite by chance being in the same class ただ席が近かっただけなのに… tada seki ga chikatta dake na no ni... And our seats just happening to be nearby... 勉強はそこそこだし benkyou wa sokosoko dashi You're a good enough student 気が利いた冗談も言えないし… ki ga kiita joudan mo ienaishi... I can't even say it was a tasteful joke... あいつって結局は aitsu tte kekkyoku wa You are, after all, 最低ランクの落ちこぼれね saitei RANKU no ochikobore ne The worst of the dunces イケメンの男子に IKEMEN no danshi ni Though a handsome guy 告白されたけれど kokuhaku sareta keredo Confessed to me でも すぐ断ってしまった demo sugu kotowatte shimatta Even then, I rejected him flat out ヤンジャンにヤンマガ 全部買って YANJYAN ni YANMAGA zenbu katte You buy all the Young Magazines from Young Jump まず最初にグラビアをチェックする mazu saishou ni GURABIA wo CHEKKU suru And check out the gravure at the beginning right away バカっぽくて単純な脳細胞が BAKAPPOkute tanjun na nousaibou ga Those simple nerdy brain cells 可愛く思えちゃったってことかな kawaiku omoechatta tte koto ka na I wonder if I thought it seemed cute 理屈ばっかりのみんなより rikutsu bakkari no min'na yori Unlike everyone else where it's only a theory いつも そのまんまって安心する itsumo sono manma tte anshin suru I always feel at ease that you're just as you seem 人は見た目と中身とでは違うけれど hito wa mitame to nakami to de wa chigau keredo Though people are different on the inside from how they appear 一番低い入り口で好きになれば ichiban hikui iriguchi de suki ni nareba If you like someone even when there's nowhere to go but up 期待値0 kitaichi zero Zero expectations 週プレのグラビア 眺めてる shuuPURE no GURABIA nagamete ru Looking through the Weekly Playboy gravure 嬉しそうな表情に嘘はない ureshisou na hyoujou ni uso wa nai There's no lie in his happy expression わかりやすくて正直なその性格に wakariyasukute shoujiki na sono seikaku ni With a character that's honest and easy to understand なんだか惹かれてしまったかも nandaka hikarete shimatta ka mo Maybe that somehow attracted me just a bit カッコをつけてる男子より KAKKO wo tsukete ru danshi yori Rather than a boy with good looks 全部 さらけ出してる方がいい zenbu sarakedashite ru hou ga ii It's better if it's all laid bare 恋の理想と現実にはギャップがある koi no risou to genjitsu no wa GYAPPU ga aru There's a gap between ideal love and reality できれば後でがっかりしないような dekireba ato de gakkari shinai you na So if it's possible not to be disappointed later 期待値0 kitaichi zero Zero expectations チュチュチュチュチュルル… Chu chu chu chu chu ruru... 期待値0 kitaichi zero Zero expectations チュチュチュチュチュルル… Chu chu chu chu chu ruru...
2 Comments
PPpupu · September 21, 2020 at 9:51 am
I love this. I don’t have much exposure to idols aside from the Sakamichi groups’ variety shows, but I’m really digging Last Idol’s songs.
Thank you for translating!
My Top Artists of 2020 – SaitoWinterStar · January 2, 2021 at 4:50 pm
[…] a mention. Last Idol didn’t hit the same 青春トレイン highs, but I loved the unit song 期待値0 as well as the music and aesthetic of their new release this year, 何人も. Finally, SKE48 […]