There was a request over on S48 to translate a long Instagram post from AKB48 Team 4 member Ma Chia-Ling (馬嘉伶). I follow her, but I had missed this one myself.
Macharin is one of the first idols I started following on Showroom, in large part because at the time her Japanese was fairly poor, so her slow, simple speech was just about at my comprehension level. Her time in Japan has accelerated her fluency far beyond my capacity, but I still follow her and admire her hard work.
She’s the definitive outsider of the domestic 48 groups, and has talked a bit about her struggles to be accepted, and to succeed in what is already a super competitive industry.
This post is about her decision to end her “every day” Showroom stream streak, and focus on other aspects of her idol work. Apparently it’s been an emotional decision, but I’m hopeful she will be able to convert some of that time into advancing her career without losing her fan base.
I’m not sure how her pet name for her fans, あずき, is usually translated, so I hope they like being sweet beans.
Source
macyacyarin 🍵
#20190724
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さっき「1000回突破配信」で発表しました。。。
2年半前からずっと続いていた”毎日配信”を
今日で終わりにします
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.
アイドル人生の約7分の5、
毎日のSHOWROOM配信で
応援してくださってる方々と交流して
たくさんの方々に素直な自分を知って頂いて
そしてSHOWROOMさんから、たくさん大切なチャンスを頂いて
本当に本当に
皆さんのおかげで
楽しい毎日を過ごせました
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.
ずっと、
この生活が続いて欲しかったです
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でも
だんだん気づいてしまいました。。。
自分はあずきの皆さんに甘えちゃっていました
あずきがいると
安心しちゃいます。。。
配信を通して、皆さんはすごくずっと傍にいるって感じているので
つい依存してしまいました
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私は凝り性の人ではないですが
自分が良い、好きだと思うことをずっと続ける人です
毎日会えるならあずきの方も喜んでくれるかなと思うし
自分もあずきの皆さんに会いたいので
気づいたら
2年半くらい、毎日SHOWROOM配信をするようになりました
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でも
今の生活を変えないと
自分は先に進めないかなと思って決めました
決して
配信をしてるからやりたいことが出来ない訳ではないですけど
今まで拘ってきたことを手放さないと
安易な生活を続けちゃうのかなと思って
それに気づいたのはちょっと前からですが
断捨離できない性格なので。。。
配信はまだ続けていました
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このままじゃずっと甘えちゃうなと思っていましたが。。。
やっぱりずっと甘えちゃって。。。
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先週のある日
突然、「よしー前に進もう！」と思って
自分も自分の気持ちにびっくりしました
普段はとても断捨離できない人なのに。。。
このタイミングは
「1000回配信でやりきったので終わろう！」とかではなくて
ただ突然、変えようと思ったからです
一瞬の思いが
2年半ずっと続いていたことを終わらせるなんて
すごく私らしくないです
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もし今日が1000回突破配信じゃなくて
普通の配信でも
連続配信を終わらせたかもしれない
ああ〜本当に私らしくないですねぇ(笑
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1000ピースのパズルを作ってみたら
16時間もかかりました
もし
1ピースを1日だと比喩したら
1000回以上の配信は
こんなにもすごいことだったと気がついたんです
毎日がすごく楽しいから
全然大変だとは思いませんでした
.
.
まいにちアイドルを終えることを決めて
不安な気持ちはもちろんあります。
毎日会っていた皆さんに会うチャンスが「毎日」じゃ無くなったら
皆さんとの距離がどんどん遠くなるのかな。。。
自分にとっても
生活の大事な一部がなくなって
考えるだけでもすごく寂しいです
寂しくて明日からまた配信しちゃうかもしれない(笑
でも
配信はいつでも、誰でも出来ること
今の私は
アイドルのお仕事にもっと集中したいです
これからの全国ツアーや10月の台湾コンサートなど
今しかできないことをもっと頑張って
私を支えてくださってる方々に「まちゃりんは成長したな」と思って頂きたい
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今まで毎日更新しているInstagramとTwitterも毎日投稿をしなくなるかもしれないです(でもモバメは絶対毎日送ります‼️
毎日続けた配信が終わっても
あずきとの関係は変わらずそのままでいて欲しいです
あずきの皆さんにはこれからも見守ってくれたら嬉しいです
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もちろん
SHOWROOMの「まいにちアイドル」が終わっても
まちゃりんのAKB48アイドル人生はまだまだ続きます✨
あずきの皆さんぜひご安心してくださいね😂💜
そして
まいにちアイドルが終わっても
ずっと私の傍にいてください
macyacyarin 🍵 #20190724 . A bit ago I was included in the "Surpassing 1000 Broadcasts" announcement... Today I will be ending these "every day streams" that have continued in an unbroken streak for the last two and a half years . . About 5/7th's of my idol life has been spent on these every day Showroom streams interacting with people that are supporting me having all these people getting to know the true me and, because of Showroom, I've received many important opportunities really, truly, it's thanks to you I was able to enjoy every day . . All along, I wanted this kind of life to continue . But gradually I came to realize... I was totally forcing all my sweet beans to humor me With you sweet beans I felt so at ease... I persisted with these broadcasts because it makes me feel you all are always so close by and unconsciously I came to depend on it . . But since I'm not an obsessive person I'm someone that's always thinking about what is good, what I like I wondered if being able to meet everyday gives my sweet beans happiness Because I also want to see all my sweet beans If you notice I've been doing these every day Showroom broadcasts for about two and a half years . However I must change my current lifestyle I decided I was wondering if I couldn't improve further But in no way do I mean to imply I can't do other things I want to do because I'm doing these broadcasts I'm not giving up what I've been involved in up to now I think I'm wondering if I'll just continue on with this simple existence Moreover, and it's been a while since I realized this, I definitely have a personality where I can't let go of things So the broadcasts still continued on . I was thinking that well, as it is, I've been a brat all along Ah, the whole time like a spoiled child... . One day last week all of the sudden, I thought, "All right, let's push on ahead!" I was surprised by my own feelings despite usually being someone that can't give up anything... As for the timing, it's not like, "I'm stopping because I achieved the 1000 broadcasts!" It's just that all of the sudden I thought, I'm going to make a change A momentary sentiment, that ends something that's been going on for two and a half years it really doesn't seem like something I'd do . If today wasn't when I surpassed 1000 broadcasts but just a normal stream maybe it would have put an end to the consecutive broadcasts Ahh~ that really wouldn't be like me, right? lol . . When I tried to put together the 1000-piece puzzle it took me 16 hours So suppose, if one piece is like one day with more than 1000 streams, I realized what an amazing thing this was Since every day was so much fun, I didn't think it was at all difficult . . Deciding to stop being a "every day" idol, of course there are uneasy feelings. Well, for everyone that was seeing me every day, if the chance to meet "every day" disappears, I wonder if the distance between us will gradually grow wider... And for me an important part of my life gone, I'm lonely just thinking about it Since I'll be lonely tomorrow, maybe I'll still do a stream lol However a broadcast can be done anytime, by anyone Right now I want to concentrate more on idol work things like the upcoming nation-wide tour and the October Taiwan concert I'll do my best with the things that can only be done now I want those that support me to think, "Macharin really has grown up" . Also up to now I've been updating Twitter and Instagram every day, but maybe I won't be posting every day (but I'll absolutely send a mobame every day!!) Even after this string of daily streams is over I want my relationship with my sweet beans to remain unchanged I'll be happy if all my sweet beans will watch over me from now on . Of course even though my "every day idol" Showrooms are ending Macharin's life as an AKB48 idol will continue for some time ✨ All my sweet beans please certainly rest assured of that 😂💜 And so even if the every day idol is finished please stay by my side
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Ma Chia-Ling’s August 7 Instagram Post – SaitoWinterStar · August 20, 2019 at 3:01 am
[…] I’m not going to gush over Macharin again here like in the other Instagram post I translated. However, I will say there’s an interesting feeling translating her writing. […]